If Not For You
by Dreaming-Of-A-Nightmare
Summary: SPOILERS FOR MANGA CH.437!.:.Naruto discusses with Sakura the recent chain of events that have left him shaking. If not for a couple of his precious people, things could have ended much more violently.:.Hints of: NaruHina,GaaNaru,JiraTsu, & semi-NaruSaku.


I don't know what I would have done without Gaara back then. Or Hinata, for that matter.

Now, the whole thing is a little blurry in my memory; but you were there for certain parts of it, Sakura-chan, so maybe you can help me fill in the blank spots.

"Of 'course, Naruto; I know better than anyone how little control you have over yourself when you become like that," she says gently.

Right, 'ttebayo. I know you do.

…I'm still sorry about that time, I hope you know.

"And I still tell you time and time again that it's all right. You didn't mean to hurt me. You weren't yourself. But you said this time was different than back then?" she asks with a puzzled expression on her face.

Yeah, well, you see… Last time, I went into a four-tailed state of my demon fox cloak. But this last time – which I hope is my final time for being anywhere near that powerful and deadly – I went into a six-tailed state. That's two more tails than before, dattebayo! The scary part is, I didn't gradually come into it. I was so mad that… well…

"I get it. It happened all at once. You couldn't even slow it down," the pink-haired girl reasons. "But what triggered you? I only heard rumors."

_Snort._ It wasn't pretty, I'll tell you that. See, Hinata-chan was there.

"Hinata? Really?"

Yeah, she was. I know you guys recently turned into a little group of three – you and Ino and Hinata, I mean – and got pretty close. So at first, I just thought she was she was supporting me because of her friendship with you. 'Cause it's not like she's really close to me or anything; she was always just someone I knew from our village, a comrade, someone in the background that I went on a couple missions with. But when she stepped out, she was protecting me. Even though she knew she had no chance again that bastard, Pein, she wanted to protect me. I couldn't believe it. She was always so shy, ya know?

"Where are you going with this, Naruto?"

Oh, sorry, I guess I'm digressing. Point is, Hinata-chan told me she wanted to save me because she… um… loves me. Like, the in-love kind of love. I'm still so shocked about it.

"Jeez! I would be, too! Uhg, finally Hina told you how she felt! I was getting frustrated with her for keeping it in for so many years."

_Slap. _You mean you knew?! Why didn't you tell me, Sakura! Man, and here I thought you were my friend!

"I am your friend! But I'm hers, too! I couldn't betray her trust; she trusted me to keep her crush a secret. And she didn't bother to tell Ino; you know Ino, she would just blab it to everyone."

Hmm. True.

"Besides, it seems small and meaningless now that you know."

I guess so…

"Won't you continue, Naruto? You still haven't said what triggered you," she points out.

Oh, right. Um, about that… you know how Hinata got hurt pretty badly?

"Yeah… I helped heal her, after all."

Exactly. So you saw how damaged she was. See, Pein did that. She went to attack him, and he shot her down immediately. I don't know how he did it, but he was able to foil her attempts in one frail swoop. It pissed me off, because I honestly thought she was going to die. Here's someone who loves me in a way I never thought anyone could, and she was about to die!

"Oh, my Kami… Naruto…"

Don't worry about it, Sakura. It's over now, dattebayo!

But… I was so hurt, so sickened by his twisted way of creating 'peace', and so fed up with that orange-haired pierced freak. I wanted to murder him, and I'm ashamed to say some pretty violent, disturbing ways of doing exactly that came to my mind at the time.

"I bet. You did kill him, though," she remarks softly.

I did, sure, but I don't remember it. I'm actually glad that I don't; I bet it was just as mutilating as the pictures that popped up before I transformed.

All I remember is clenching my fists and grinding my teeth as I felt an incredible amount of Kyuubi's chakra filled my entire body. It was coursing right through my veins like adrenaline, but different. I lost my head. I fell into blackness. Then I was in front of the very cage made by the seal on my stomach. I could see him, hear him. He was everywhere, a vast entity that swallowed me whole. It was like I fell asleep then, but was vaguely aware of the steady ache across my burning skin.

"That was the poisonous cloak eating at your skin and stressing your muscles like last time."

Yeah, I realize that now. In retrospect, I heard some muffled things as well, like explosions and painful cries and howling. I think I might have even heard Hinata, but I can't remember correctly. It was all so vague.

"I understand," Sakura nods. "Go on."

Well, there's not too much more to tell, really; I don't know how long I was lost like that, and only know how far I went after I came back to my senses. I saw Tsunade-baachan first, healing me like you had that first time by growing back all of my skin and sealing my wounds. I hurt like a son of a bitch, but I fainted again soon, so it hardly mattered. When I woke up the next time, you were there.

She smiles, "I remember. You were bandaged and shaking, with sweat on your forehead and in your hair. You looked really tired, and confused. So I gently told you that Pein was dead, along with many others, and that you were the cause."

_Nod. _Mmhmm. And that Gaara was there to see me.

"He saved your life. Do you remember it?"

_Scrunching face. _A little. It's fuzzy.

"Tell me what you remember."

For starters, I heard his voice. Not any words, just the sound. Low and calm and thin, as if he was terrified. Which I guess he would be; even someone like Gaara would be scared of a mini-Kyuubi that was supposedly his friend underneath. Hell, I was scared of myself, because I knew that Kyuubi was in control! I was going by instinct then, and nothing more. It felt strange.

"How did he contact you through the skeleton armor and all that power?" she whispers curiously.

_Shaking of the head. _It's hard to say. I remember something coming through the haze. A few words, but mostly my name. 'Naruto, Naruto,' Gaara was saying, 'Snap out of it! Naruto…'

"'Snap out of it'? Heh, leave it to Gaara-sama to be so straightforward."

_Smile. _Yeah…

Anyway, I remember murmuring his name back at him, and Kyuubi growling at me. He was agitated that someone was in the way of whatever it was he wanted to destroy next. But because I knew it was Gaara in front of me somewhere, I held Kyuubi back. I didn't want him to hurt Gaara. I didn't want any of my precious people injured, especially after what happened with you…

"I said I forgave you, Naruto," she comforts in a sweet voice.

I know, Sakura-chan, but I still feel awful about it. And I always will. You tried to stop me, and I just pushed you away –

"It's alright, really! Yamato-taichou should have never told you. It's only brought you unneeded grief."

You have a point there.

"Of 'course I do. I _always_ make good points," she winks.

_Laughing. _

So, there Gaara was, standing right in front of the Kyuubi-Me. I heard rough, hasty breaths, and in my weak state of mind, I wondered if Gaara was panting angrily at me or crying. I still don't know which it was. It was then that something touched me. I felt it distantly, but it stung since my skin wasn't in the best of shape at the time.

I don't know how he knew, but Gaara understood that I was slowly being poisoned by Kyuubi's cloak, and that I could die. I don't care how, though. Because he did, I'm still here.

"Actually, I know how he knew. Tsunade-sama sent for aid from Sunagakure, and when he heard it was about you, he came rushing here. She filled him in about the Akatsuki situation, and called for me. I stood in front of Gaara-sama, Temari-san, and Kankurou-san and told them about your condition. I warned them about your 'temper', saying that you'll definitely lash out. I also told them how it poisons you, and that the four-tailed state was bad enough to kill you if it lasted for hours according to what we've figured out, so the six-tailed state could potentially be bad enough to kill you within minutes by our calculations."

_Grave nodding._ I bet Gaara didn't like hearing that. I know I didn't like it when they said he was kidnapped; I wanted to run out screaming, weapons blazing.

"Oh, you have no _idea_. I've never seen such a contorted expression on his face. Come to think of it… I rarely see _any_ sort of expression on his face."

Ain't that the truth?

"He asked me when I was done, 'What caused it?' And I said, 'I don't know, but it could have been Pein's attempt to take both his life and his demon from him as had been done to you. Who knows? What's really important is that we calm him down and heal him before he dies.'" She pauses. "Do you know what he said then?"

Huh? What'd he say, dattebayo?

"He said, 'Tell me what I need to do. I have a debt to pay, after all.'"

A debt? To me? What for?

"I'm not sure what he meant precisely, but I assumed he meant how you saved his life. Techinically twice, too."

Twice? But I only helped Chiyo-baasama give him my chakra.

"But you knocked some sense into him, too. You made him see what he could do with his life. And that's saving him as well. If you think about it, you saved him a third time from loneliness by becoming his friend," she adds at the end, her hand on her chin as she thinks of this on the spot. "Funny how that works out."

Yeah. Funny.

"What happened next, though? He was calling your name, you acknowledged him by stopping Kyuubi, and something touched you…?"

Oh! Right. Man, I get too distracted, don't I?

Anyhow, Gaara sounded weird, almost panicky. He called out to me, saying 'dammit' a couple times, his voice growing louder and louder and clearer and clearer. Finally, that touch became strong, and I realized it was his hand on my face. Right against my cheek, as if he wasn't afraid. In retrospect, that explained why he had a bandage on his hand when he came to visit me in the hospital; the cloak must have hurt him pretty badly.

'Naruto, fight this. I know you can. You're strong. Determined. Fierce. You can beat your demon. Come on, Naruto…' he kept saying. His hand moved, almost stroking my cheek even if he couldn't see it through the black-and-red spectacle I know I must have been.

'Gaara,' I remember trying to reply, over and over. Finally, I think it came out, but it sounded garbled and grotesque to me.

'That's right, Naruto,' he had said. His voice shook, and I think he was relieved. 'Everything's alright. Your comrades are here to help you.'

"That's when he gave us the signal that you were safe enough to approach. We didn't have Yamato-taichou's wood to restrain you; you were too strong. So we had to calm you down and get you somewhat stabilized before we forced a reverting jutsu on you."

But you didn't need it, did you?

"No, we didn't. Can you tell me why? I still can't figure it out. No one understands how you changed back all on your own."

_A moment of thought. _I think… I think it was Gaara's words.

"Really?"

Yeah.

"How come?"

_Shrug._ I don't know. I guess I didn't want to let him down. I wanted him to believe in me like that, because those are the exact things I hope people see me for. I hate being the outcast, the demon-child, the annoying little punk. That last one I thought was better than nothing – at least I wasn't shunned or ignored – but I started to resent it. So I grew up.

"You really have, Naruto. You grew up into a wonderful person," Sakura mumbles as she stands to hug me.

Thanks, Sakura-chan. I need to hear that sometimes. Especially when I know I've done so many horrible, horrible things.

She clings tighter. "No, no… you're still wonderful. No one blames you, I promise. Least of all Gaara-sama, Hinata and I. We love you no matter what."

_Pulls away. _See, there's that word again.

"Which word?"

'Love'.

"What about it?" she wants to know as she cocks her head to the side.

Hinata-chan. She said it. And when Gaara was by my side, coaxing me to come back to him and everyone else, I felt it. I want people to care for me, it's all I've ever wanted, but it's so strange… some people love me in one way, and some in others. Hinata admitted which she feels, and I know you think of me as a close friend or brother like how I think of Sasuke, and I know Iruka- and Kakashi-sensei look down on me like a father or uncle would, and even Tsunade-baachan looks at me like a son or something, but I didn't understand what was coming from Gaara. And then there's always Ero-Sannin…

"Oh, don't cry, Naruto… You know Jiraiya-sama wouldn't have wanted you to keep crying over him."

_Sniff. _I know. I tried to hold it in as long as possible, especially when I was fighting, but… _A choked sob, a hiccup. _

"Tsunade-sama and I know better than anyone what he meant to you, despite what you lead on. Especially Tsunade; she loved him, too. In a different way, of 'course."

_More sniffling. _Funny how much people can care about each other, huh?

She embraces me again. "It's also funny how many positive things can be born from such sorrowful chaos."

You mean… like the threat of the Akatsuki annihilated and Konoha coming together?

"Yes."

_A final sniff and a wipe at the nose. A smile. _I hope it lasts. There's peace here now, despite the fail of Pein's plans.

Sakura nods. "If not for you, I don't think we could've gotten to this point."

If not for Gaara, there'd be no town left. Or me.

She laughs. "Too true, sadly."

_A pause._

So… how is Hinata doing, dattebayo?

"Alright. Why?"

There's something I need to tell her, that's all.

The pink-haired girl blinks once or twice before smiling. "Okay. Let's go visit her, then."

* * *

**A/N: So, I'm trying this new writing style, as well as putting down bits and pieces of this idea I had. The idea: What if Gaara came in and saved Naruto from himself after chapter 437? It'd certainly bring his and Naruto's friendship and the earlier Gaara arc full-circle, make the NaruGaa fangirls happy, as well as further unite the two villages. Am I right or am I right?**

**Oh, and is anyone else totally shocked at what happened with Hinata? I was practically frozen, mouth agape, while reading that chapter! I'm so proud of my little Hina-chan! #huggles her# I hope she's okay...**

**Anyway, thanks for reading, and please review if you liked it! **

**P.S. The ending is supposed to be vague so that you can fill in with your own pairing. See, it could go one of two ways: Naru could thank Hinata and tell her that he accepts her feelings and would like to give them a try, or he could thank her but break to her gently and kindly that he's not interested but would like to stay friends. The second option is more for the NaruGaa fans. The first, obviously, for the NaruHina folks.  
Personally, I love both pairings, depsite only writing NaruGaa for a long period of time; NaruHina was my first loved pairing, so... yeah. I couldn't care less which you chose. XD**


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